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So I did a quick mod to the operation of the merge solenoid, time will tell if it works to extend the life of it or not. 
So I added a relay that does not allow the merge solenoid to be activated when you are starting the engine. I did this by inserting a bosch relay in the power line to the merge solenoid coil. I wired it through the normally closed contacts on the bosch relay. The bosch relay coil is fed from the start circuit, so when you start the engine it energizes the bosch relay which opens up the circuit going to the merge solenoid coil. This way you never have the merge solenoid activated while you are starting the engine. I suppose I should put a bypass on it in the event that I do need the help of the other batteries to start but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I was actually looking at a 1000a solenoid online the other day and though about replacing the merge solenoid with that, then it would not be a problem either way and it would also allow you to use the house batteries to jump start the engine. 

Video I made on the merge solenoid mod:
https://youtu.be/f07-DtmOW14?si=pDl3icB9Mk_V7evA

Relay I was thinking about for the merge solenoid:
AArco SW865 Heavy Duty Diesel Solenoid 12V 1000 Amp Isolated Ground
https://www.ebay.com/itm/233421663043